stepping into giving
10/24/20
Today I got kind of emotional after making a very, very familiar home meal that I grew up eating. Someone asked me what my favorite thing to cook is- I said these days I’m trying out different korean dishes, and it’s been amazing to be able to make things I grew up eating. As a kid I’d pull up at the dining table, and day after day I’d see something like this- soup, rice, banchan, collectively call a “sang”(상) —and today when I finally made this, it was an embodiment of all the ordinary dinners lunches and even breakfasts that at one point was all I knew growing up in our apartment in Korea, I suddenly realized that I’m moving on from being on the receiving end, and am starting to build tools to give back to the next generation.
I am a turning point in my line of family, since we moved and now have settled down here. From here on, the next to come will look so much more different than what my parents went through, or their parents had gone through. Sometimes I fear so deeply that I’d forget things that I used to identify with, and that memories that I’ve held onto will fade. But idk what it is, cooking at home like this and tackling one dish after the other is giving me some kind of confidence to move on, like I’m building something concrete to connect with, to give back, when I need to.
